Fear as a Positive Influence
Estimated Reading Time: 4 Minutes
How can you use fear as a positive influence on you?
Do you treat each fear the same way? Do you ever take your fear and turn it into passion? How would you feel if you found out the fear inside of you was meant to fuel you? What would it mean for your life if you could harness your fear for a good purpose?
For many years, I was afraid to talk about fear. I was afraid to admit to the outside world that I was afraid. I was afraid that no one would like me if they knew. I was afraid that I would not be able to find a good woman if I were open about my fears. I was afraid that people would take advantage of me and play on my fears. In my very private moments, fear consumed my thoughts and my emotions. Then, I let a woman I was dating in on some of my fears and she said something profound, “Your mess is your message.”
While I did not act right away, that one statement is part of what led me to talk about my fears and to do what I can to help other people overcome their fears. Over time, I started to think about fear differently. I started to realize where my fears were trying to protect me, where they were stopping me and where they were pushing me forward. I remembered a story from one of my mentors, Les Brown, about how he is still nervous before he goes on stage. He uses that fear to let him know he still has passion for the business after all these years.
While I still experience fear, now, fear and I have a different relationship. Some fears I look at and say, “Thanks brain for trying to protect me. I will heed your warnings.” Other fears I look at and say, “Thanks brain for trying to protect me. Do not worry, I got this.” While other fears I look at and say, “I feel so alive! I feel like I could conquer the world! I will use this fear as fuel.” This post is a great example. Before my new relationship with fear, I would have been too afraid to write much of what is in this post. Now, I feel excited inside for you to read it.
Fear has been key to our survival as human beings forever in the form of the fight or fight syndrome. Fear can also be used to drive us forward. The fear of letting someone down is a great example of where we can use fear as a positive motivator. With regards to that specific fear, the challenge for us is to not let fear stop us from committing to something just because we are afraid that we may let them down.
The next time you feel fear, I invite you to consider that the fear could be there to fuel you. The fear could be there to push you forward. I invite you to step into it slowly. Ease into it and see if it will drive you forward and fuel you. If you find that the fear was there to keep you safe, you can always change directions. If that happens, at least you will be sure of what the fear was meant to do for you.
Fear can be the fuel that propels you to great achievements.
How this applies to authentic empathy…
When it comes to authentic empathy and using fear as a positive influence, as you start the process, I invite you to give yourself authentic empathy and let others know that you need some authentic empathy from them. Treat it like jumping into a swimming pool when you were young. The first time jumping into the pool is a scary experience for most kids. We dip our toes in the water and (hopefully) have a loving relative waiting to catch us (or at least make sure we do not drown.) Invite the people around you to be like that loving family member. Invite them to be patient with you as you work through your fear. Let them know it will help you and payoff for both you and them in the long run.
How this applies to WACASHWI…
When it comes to WACASHWI and using fear as a positive influence, I invite you to put the work in to understand the difference between a fear that is fueling you and a fear that is keeping you safe. Doing this will be key to what you put on your list and move through the process. Doing this will also help the process move more smoothly by focusing your efforts and giving you extra fuel when you need it.
Your daily invitations…
- I invite you to think about some of your fears today and pick one that may be a positive influence.
- I invite you to consider the merits it holds as a positive influence.
- I invite you to consider the benefits you will receive by treating it as a positive influence.
- I invite you to write down your thoughts, feelings, and actions in your journal.
- I invite you to talk about your fear with one person close to you and gain their support. If you do not feel comfortable taking with someone currently close to you, I invite you to find a good coach, mentor, or therapist to talk with.
Final step – how will you implement one thing you learned today in your life?