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Do you feel like you always miss something when talking to people?
Do you get frustrated with yourself because you always feel like you leave something out when you are telling a story? Do people seem to ask you a hundred questions on even the simplest of topics? Do you remember something you wanted to say after a conversation is over and immediately reach back out to the person you were talking to? Do you feel like Steve Jobs in that you are always saying, “Oh, and, one more thing.”?
Communication can be a funny beast. Give people too much information and you overload their brains. When someone’s brain is overloaded, they have trouble processing the information you are providing them. Give people to little information, and they have a ton of questions. At their core, questions are good. When people feel they have too many questions, they begin to feel stupid. The goal is to communicate at a level where you provide enough information to generate conversation and at least some questions.
The desire to over-communicate comes from the fear that you will leave something out. When you figure out the level of communication that suits your audience, shift your perspective on questions and focus the information you are providing them, you will beat your fear demon of leaving something out.
Provide your information to others at a level that generates a basic level of understanding and promotes questions.
How this applies to authentic empathy…
When it comes to authentic empathy and the fear of leaving something out, when someone over-explains something to you, I invite you to have authentic empathy for that person. I invite you to approach them with the belief that they want to make sure they do not leave anything out. If you have a challenge of over-explaining things because you are afraid you will leave something out, I invite you to have authentic empathy for the person you are talking with. I invite you to believe that they are uncomfortable with your level of explanation and may react in a way that is less than desirable. I invite you to use this authentic empathy and belief to overcome your fear and change the level of explanation you provide.
How this applies to WACASHWI…
When it comes to WACASHWI and the fear of leaving something out, until you mitigate this fear, it will crop up when you are explaining to people why something is or is not on your list. It will also crop up when letting people know why you needed to remove something from your list or why you are choosing not to put something on your list that is important to you. Once you do the daily invitations below, you will have a better understanding of how much this fear impacts you. If you find that this fear has a significant impact on you, I invite you to consider adding overcoming this fear demon as a task early in the process. Once you beat this fear demon, you will have more effective conversations and a greater level of connection with the people in your life.
Your daily invitations…
- I invite you to think about three people you communicate with on a regular basis.
- I invite you to consider the level of information you give them and if there is anything you can do to make your communications more effective.
- I invite you to write down your thoughts, feelings, and actions in your journal.
- I invite you to talk with the people you thought about above to verify if your considerations were correct and what, if anything, you can do to make your communications more effective.
Final step – how will you implement one thing you learned today in your life?
This all is but one step in your journey to living a more stress-free life, beating the demons of fear, and raising your level of authentic empathy towards yourself and others.
I appreciate you!