Self-doubt is the Destroyer of Dreams
Estimated Reading Time: 5 Minutes
Do not let self-doubt cost you what it cost me.
Today we are going to talk about self-doubt. How many times have you had a good idea that you proposed to one or two people only to have that idea not resonate with them? Have you ever had what you thought was a great idea that got no support from anyone else, so you just shelved it? How often have you moved on from an idea after one or two rejections and never thought about it again?
In March of 2020 when the global pandemic hit and everything happened, I was connected to a professional wrestler who was high-up in All Elite Wrestling (AEW). I reached out to him as soon as fans were no longer allowed in arenas with an idea I had. I texted him and suggested that, since there were no fans in the arena, they could run something like a YouTube Live Event. They would feed the video from the attendees watching at home on to the big video board they have in the arena. They would also pump the sound back into the arena. I sent one text and never heard anything back.
At a conscious level, I figured that he was just too busy or too nice of a guy to say he did not like the idea. At a subconscious level, self-doubt crept in and I figured it was just a bad idea and there was no use in pushing it or anything like it any further. A few months later, a competing company World Wrestling Entertainment (yes that WWE) unveiled their new Thunderdome arena. This arena came complete with video screens of fans watching the action and reacting to it from home. When I found out about it I both smiled and cried. I smiled because it let me know that some of my creative and out-there ideas are not as out-there as they may seem. I cried because I realized I allowed self-doubt to stop me from pushing my idea forward. An idea that, in the end, a version of it is being seen by millions of people each week.
When self-doubt controls what we do, we lose out on some incredible opportunities. While you may feel the doubts are well-founded, I invite you to ask yourself a question. What if the doubts are not well founded? What if you push past what you are feeling and find the right person to resonate with your idea? What if you keep pushing until the idea is a success?
Fear is a wedge used in the crack of self-doubt to split you from the things you desire most.
How this applies to fear…
When it comes to fear and self-doubt, fear is one of the biggest drivers of self-doubt. If we have even the smallest sliver of doubt in ourselves and we allow fear to insert itself into that crack, it acts like a wedge that drives us away from what we desire. A wedge, by itself, can keep things apart. A wedge, by itself, cannot split anything. It takes someone hitting the wedge and driving it deeper into the crack for it to split two things farther apart. Sometimes, other people can be the ones hammering at the wedge of fear and driving it deeper into our self-doubt. Other times, we are the ones hitting that wedge of fear. In either case, we are in control. We can stop others and ourselves from hitting our fear wedge. I empathize with you and the fact that it does not always feel that way. Many times, in my life I have felt like I had no control. When this happens to you, do what I do, borrow the faith someone else has in you. If you feel you cannot find anyone who has faith in you, get a good coach, mentor, or therapist. One that wants to see you succeed and has faith in you.
How this applies to authentic empathy…
When it comes to authentic empathy and self-doubt, when self-doubt crops up, give yourself the authentic empathy you need to push through it. If someone comes to you in a state of self-doubt and you think they are looking for pity, I invite you to look at what they are going through a different way. When people struggle with self-doubt, they are not looking for pity. What they are looking for is authentic empathy. They are looking for someone to have faith in them and feel authentic empathy for them and the fact that, given an honest choice, they would snap their fingers and get rid of the doubt they have in themselves. They are looking for you to experience authentic empathy for them and the fact that things have gotten to a point where they are not currently able to snap their fingers and make their self-doubt go away. They need love, time, support, and authentic empathy to help them make it go away.
How this applies to WACASHWI…
When it comes to WACASHWI and self-doubt, while moving things on to and through you list you will question yourself. You will question if you really Want to do something, if you really Can do something, if you really Should do something, and if you really Will do something. That questioning is a good, natural, healthy part of the process. While questioning yourself, I invite you to consider why you answer ‘no’ to something. I invite you to consider what role self-doubt plays in your decisions. This will allow you to get the support you need for those things you have a deep desire to put on the list and make happen.
Your daily invitations…
- I invite you to think about something that you have been putting off doing because of self-doubt.
- I invite you to consider how you would feel and what it would look like for you to overcome your self-doubts about this one thing.
- I invite you to write down your thoughts, feelings, and actions in your journal.
- I invite you to talk about your thoughts, considerations and feelings with a friend, family member, coach, mentor, or therapist who supports you and can give you the authentic empathy you need to start moving forward.
Final step – how will you implement one thing you learned today in your life?