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How can we look at fear as Factual Evidence Appearing Relevant and why do we want to do that?
We have spent some time focusing on developing authentic empathy for ourselves and both for and from others. Today, let us shift our focus to fear, what it is and how to start overcoming our fears. Fear can be a debilitating emotion. There is one acronym for fear that says it is False Evidence Appearing Real. I invite you to look at it a bit differently. I invite you to consider another acronym that, since I discovered it, has served me well.
What if fear is Factual Evidence Appearing Relevant? How would that change how you handle fear? How would that change how you viewed fear? How would that change how you reacted to fear? How would that change how you felt about fear?
As we work through our fears, things from our past play a big role. Everyone has something that has happened in their past that has negatively affected them. Sometimes, it is something you go through. Sometimes, it is someone you have had to deal with. Sometimes, it is a dream you have had. Whatever it is, your brain is linking it to what you see today and making you believe it is the same exact situation.
The next time fear crops up in your life, I invite you to pause and look back on your past experiences. See if you can determine when you were in a similar situation. Once you make that determination, ask yourself if the previous situation is relevant to what you are experiencing right now. If it does, then let fear guide you to protect you from getting in trouble, from getting hurt, from getting burnt again, like the old hand on the stove analogy.
If you look back and determine that there are differences between your past experiences and what you are going through today, I invite you to push fear aside, step into your greatness, step into your power and step forward and take a chance again.
Fear is Factual Evidence Appearing Relevant
How this applies to authentic empathy…
When it comes to authentic empathy and fear, many times, when somebody understands you but cannot experience authentic empathy for you, it is their fear reaction kicking in. It is either their fear of condoning what you are doing and pushing you to do it more, or their fear of mirroring what you are doing and doing it themselves. This happens even in people we see as being strong. In fact, if someone is a strong person now, and they overcame the same fear you are experiencing, they are more prone to struggle when trying to experience authentic empathy. Why? Because they are subconsciously afraid of going back to who they were. (I agree with you. This one is a tough one. Usually, when someone experiences something, they have a higher level of authentic empathy towards someone experiencing the same thing. Welcome to the world of fear.) This is a great chance for you to practice authentic empathy. Showing authentic empathy for someone when they struggle with fear will help them be experience more authentic empathy for you.
How this applies to WACASHWI…
When it comes to WACASHWI and fear, as you move item on to and through your list, you will experience fear. Fear of letting people down by not including something they want you to on the list. Fear of saying you cannot do something. Being afraid that you must do something because someone says you should. Fear of failing after you said you will do something. These fears can all be tied to things that happened in our past. Once we understand the facts of what happened and determine if they are relevant to our journey today, then we can decide how we are going to overcome them.
Your daily invitations…
- I invite you to think about how you handle fear today.
- I invite you to consider the last time you had to handle fear and what you could change about it.
- I invite you to write down your thoughts, feelings, and actions in your journal.
- I invite you to talk about your experiences with a coach, mentor or therapist depending on what emotions this process brings up.
Final step – how will you implement one thing you learned today in your life?