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Do things other people do affect you mentally?
Do you find yourself getting mad at the things people do? Do you find yourself getting sad when people do something that you do not agree with? Do you find that other people’s actions stir up any emotions inside of you? Do your feelings change based on whether the things people do are directed at you or not?
The next time it happens, I invite you to pause and think for a second before reacting or feeling anything. Then, as you start to feel something, ask yourself why you are feeling what you are feeling. Are those feelings cropping up because you feel that you would make a different choice in that same situation?
Answering this question honestly will allow you to take your emotional power back. It will allow you to be aware in that moment that everybody has different experiences. Everybody makes different choices. It will remind you that just because someone you know or love makes a different choice than you believe you would make in a certain situation, it does not mean they are wrong, and you are right. It just means their choice is different.
If you find yourself second-guessing a person’s words or actions that you know, I invite you to have a conversation with that person. The goal of the conversation is to find out why they said or did what they did so that you can learn something. Maybe, you will learn something about them. Maybe, you will learn something about yourself. Maybe you will get a different perspective. Maybe they will get a different perspective.
If their words or actions were directed towards you, changing the way you see their words or actions and having this additional conversation can have a big benefit for you. You will be able to get that feeling off your mind and experience authentic empathy for them and what they have been through. This will open them up to experiencing authentic empathy for you.
Many things in our lives are being done for us and not to us. We just do not realize it.
How this applies to fear…
When it comes to fear and letting other people’s actions and words affect you, many people are afraid that showing authentic empathy towards someone means you are condoning their actions. Some people are afraid that showing authentic empathy even means you would do or say what the other person did or said. The truth is that not letting someone’s words to actions affect you mentally and showing them authentic empathy means that you understand that everyone makes different choices. These choices are based on a person’s experience, genetic makeup, and several other factors. It does not mean you, as you are right now, would do or say the same thing.
How this applies to authentic empathy…
When it comes to authentic empathy and letting other people’s actions and words affect you mentally, one of the main reasons to increase your level of authentic empathy for others is to reduce the mental toll their actions and words take on you. It is also a self-perpetuating cycle. As you have more authentic empathy for others, their words and actions will have less of an effect on you mentally. As your brain is less stressed, it will have more room to experience authentic empathy for others. As you display more authentic empathy for others, they will experience more authentic empathy for you. It is a beautiful cycle.
How this applies to WACASHWI…
When it comes to WACASHWI and letting other people’s actions and words affect you mentally, as you move things on to and through the list, you will have well-meaning people who want to give you feedback. If you are judgmental towards them and their feedback, you will miss out on some golden nuggets of information. One of those golden nuggets may be the one that determines if what you are doing succeeds or fails. Also, being more empathic to others will make them more comfortable providing you with input and feedback. Finally, being less judgmental will allow you to respond to them in a way that is kind and gentle even when you end up not using their advice.
Your daily invitations…
- I invite you to think about the last time you thought you would have done something different in a certain situation.
- I invite you to think about how you reacted to the other person in the situation.
- I invite you to consider that situation and see if you still think you would have done something different.
- I invite you to write down your thoughts, feelings, and actions in your journal.
- I invite you to talk to the other person in the situation and share your thoughts with them if it is safe to do so.
Final step – how will you implement one thing you learned today in your life?