An Easy Way to Show Someone You Understand Them
Estimated Reading Time: 5 Minutes
If you are struggling to find a way to show someone you understand to them, start with this easy solution.
Have you been in a situation where you were unsure of how to treat somebody? Have you experienced fear or doubt about, or a struggle understanding what somebody would like you to do to show them you understand them? How many times has someone done something nice for you and you looked at it and said, “Wow, that made me happy! However, I am so unique it’s not going to make that person or anybody else happy?” What do you do if you can find the words to tell someone you understand them and cannot decide what action to take to show someone you understand them? What if there were a simple way to figure out the actions you could do that would resonate with the other person?
For many years, I struggled to find the right actions to show some people that I understood them. I was able to feel understanding for them and say to them, I understand you. Yet, coming up with a simple action to show them that I understood them was a struggle. Part of my struggle came from seeing myself as unique. This feeling of uniqueness led me to believe something that I have come to learn was incorrect.
At one time I believed that the way people showed that they understood me was unique to me. I would think, “While their actions show that they understand me, they probably would not feel the same way if the roles were reversed.” This was partly due to an inflated ego. This inflated ego led me to believe I was so unique and special that people would change the way they acted to suit me. Also, this was partly because I understood myself. I knew how much of a challenge I could be to deal with. At the time I figured that one of the reasons people were changing what they did was to make things easier on themselves. Finally, what I saw them doing, I was doing – trying to find out what best resonated with someone and tweak my actions accordingly.
What I did not consider until much later was that the answer was much simpler. The fact was that many people were showing me how I could act towards them by how they were acting towards me. They were showing me exactly what would show them that I understood them. Somewhere along my journey through life, I lost sight of how the golden rule applied in reverse. The golden rule says, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Thinking about it in the reverse, it is saying that people do unto us what they desire us to do unto them. Looking back now, it sounds so simple, and I realize I made it so complex by overthinking things (we will get into this in another post). Now, when I question how somebody wants to be treated or what I can do for someone to show them I understand them, I look at the way they treat me and combine that with other things I know about that person. I invite you to do the same.
We are all special and unique creatures and sometimes people do shift what they do because they know it will make us happy even if the same act does not have the same effect on them. More often, people treat us the way they want to be treated. When we struggle to know what people want us to do for them and we have already tried listening to them and asking them, the next step is to look at how they act towards us. When they call us out of the blue, they are letting us know that calling them out of the blue is something they would like and appreciate. If they see something at a store, think of us and get it for us, they are letting us know that unexpected gifts (big or small) are something that they would like and appreciate.
Talking with people to understand how they want to be treated and listening to them is key. Trusting that other people would not do something for us that they would not want us to do for them is another key. Understanding that the action does not have to be exactly the same is another key. If your partner stops at the store to buy you flowers, at a basic level, it means that they also appreciate unexpected tokens of affection. It is up to you to understand them well enough to know if that token of affection is flowers or something else.
Human nature can be simple sometimes. People will show us how they want to be treated by how they treat us and others.
How this applies to fear…
When it comes to fear and showing someone that you understand them, many times we are afraid that what resonates with us will not resonate with someone else. While the fear itself is valid, we can work to overcome the fear by treating others as they treat us. Understanding that it is human nature to show others how you would like to be treated by treating them a certain way will mitigate the initial fears you have.
How this applies to WACASHWI…
When it comes to WACASHWI and showing someone that you understand them, as you move things on to and through the process, the more uplifting support you have around you, the greater your chances of success will be. Finding ways to display to people that you understand them will increase the number of people close to you that provide that uplifting support. Doing this will also reduce the amount of negativity and fear in your mind. This will allow you to spend your precious mental energy where it serves you the best.
Your daily invitations…
- I invite you to think about one person in your life that you struggle to show you understand them.
- I invite you to think about how they treat you.
- I invite you to consider what is stopping you from treating them the way they treat you.
- I invite you to write down your thoughts, feelings, and actions in your journal.
- I invite you to talk to the person you thought about above and start showing them you understand them if it is safe to do so.
Final step – how will you implement one thing you learned today in your life?